


Steady Ones

by storyforthem



Category: Pentagon - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, High School, M/M, Musical References, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Panic Attacks, Song Lyrics, jinhongseok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:22:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21632125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storyforthem/pseuds/storyforthem
Summary: Was it selfish of him for wanting Hongseok to be around him all the time? So he could be away from all the noise inside his head? So he could feel peace at last.
Relationships: Jo Jinho | Jino & Yang Hongseok, Jo Jinho | Jino/Yang Hongseok
Kudos: 31





	Steady Ones

He put the hood over his head. He plugged in his airpods to his ears, setting his music volume to the highest level. This morning, he just didn’t want to deal with people. Not that he had many friends anyways. Loneliness was his only friend.

The other students walked past by without noticing him. No one said hai. No one greeted him. No one wished him a good morning.

He was alone indeed.

He took a couple of books from his locker and closed it back. He turned around to find no one was waiting for him. Not that he expected someone though. It would just feel nice if he had someone to talk to along the hallways, wouldn’t it?

BUG

Someone suddenly bumped into him hard, making him fell. Jinho landed on the ground. He swore he heard a crack when his shoulder hit the floor. His airpods slipped off his ears and fell on the floor.

“Look who I just ran into?” a mocking voice was heard and Jinho knew exactly whose it was. A face he was familiar with showed up before his eyes. He wanted to punch that face. “A freak.” 

His posse who were standing behind him laughed at the name-calling. A freak. A label that had been plastered on his face since day one at this school. It was fine at first, but it slowly grew inside Jinho. It slowly hurt Jinho for being called a freak.

No one wanted to sit with THE freak during lunch. No one would want to team up with THE freak. No one would want to be seen with THE freak.

Jinho tried to get up but he could not, he had no energy to.

“Go Shinwon!” Someone called for the bully’s name, the voice was unfamiliar to Jinho.

He then could hear the laughter was stop. Footsteps were heard. They were fast, towards Jinho and the bullies.

“Stop it.”

“You are now his guardian?”

“I’m a friend.” said the stranger whose hands helped Jinho to get up. “You okay?”

Jinho stepped back immediately, took his arm off the stranger’s grip. He could feel all the eyes in the hallway staring at them. He hated the attention.

He grabbed his backpack then he ran away from the mini drama. He didn’t know where to head. He just ran and ran and ran, burying all mocking and laughing thrown at him that he just had.

His chest hurt. The noises were coming back, telling him all the things he hated. His head was so noisy. He could no longer breathe and he stopped. His body started to shake. His hands and fingers were trembling. His head felt heavy. He was now hypervilanting.

He tried to grab anything near him and he failed. He fell once again to the ground but he could get up this time. Even though he needed extra energy to do so.

He found a room next to him. He opened the door and he went inside. He closed it right after and leaned on for awhile.

Jinho tried to calm down but he could not. He hated it. He just wanted to have one peaceful morning and thoses bullies ruined it.

As he managed his breathing, he saw a piano not far from the door. Oh. He had come inside the music room apparently. He walked towards the piano and sat in front of it.

He now felt like to vomit. Jinho clasped his hands hard. He really needed it to stop.

_ Please. Help me. _

Suddenly the door was open. Someone was coming in to the room and Jinho had no intention to find out whom.

A touch on his shoulder startled him. A face he kind of remembered appeared before his eyes. 

“Hey. Are you okay?” The owner of the face took Jinho’s hands to pull them apart.

“Hey. Please. Breathe.” He held Jinho’s hands tightly.

“Follow my lead okay?” His grip on Jinho’s hands got tighter.

Jinho nodded.

“One. Two. Three. Breathe in.”

Jinho inhaled.

“Breathe out.”

Jinho exhaled.

“One. Two. Three. Breathe in.”

Jinho inhaled again.

“Breathe out.” 

Jinho exhaled again.

Like a magic, Jinho felt better. The touch on his hands was really calming. The stranger’s thumbs rubbed his palms.

“How are you feeling?” asked the stranger.

“Better.” said Jinho shortly.

The stranger just smiled. Jinho recalled where he met him, it was less than ten minutes ago when this stranger help him from Shinwon.

“I’m glad.” Their hands were still holding each other, “My name is Yang Hongseok and you can call me Hongseok. May I know yours?”

“Jo Jinho.”

“Sorry? I cant hear you.”

“Jo Jinho. My name is Jo Jinho.” said Jinho a bit louder.

“Nice to meet you Jo Jinho. I’m sorry for what Shinwon did to you earlier. It was unnecessary.” Hongseok reached to his pocket and took out a pair of white airpods. “I think these are yours? I found them on the floor.”

Jinho took the airpods. He didn’t even notice he left them. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Have we ever been in the same class?” Jinho was now joined by Hongseok in front of the piano.

“I don’t think so.” Jinho was playing with his fingers.

This...this distance between the two was too close for Jinho’s standard. This closeness made him feeling awkward. “But funnily, I know that you take musical class. One of my friends is your classmate.”

This got Jinho’s attention. “Who?”

“You don’t talk much, do you?” His chuckling voice sounded nice to Jinho’s ears. “It’s Kino. That bubbly guy who loves to dance a lot. You must have known him.”

“Oh. Yeah. I know him.” Was it weird if Jinho talked to Hongseok with short answer?

“Kino frequently told me about his fun musical class, especially his classmate who is really good at singing and acting even dancing, that is you right? Jo Jinho. You fit all the description.”

Jinho was surprised when Hongseok turned his head towards him when he was staring at him from his side. Damn, nice timing.

“He told me that he wanted to get close to you but you always seemed distant and hard to reach. I bet he will lose his mind the time I tell him that I’m talking to you now.”

Jinho didn’t know what to say or respond. So he decided just to stay silent.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Jinho knew where this would be going, “Sure.”

“What happened? When I found you?”

“Panic.” Short answer again.

“Oh...”

Then silent. Hongseok nodded his head slowly and gave no response. Jinho understood. The other might feel confused on what to say next or how to keep the conversation going with Jinho’s condition like this.

This had been a torture for Jinho too. How he was being so awkward socially. How his panic attack could strike at times he hardly understand sometimes. How those noises could bring himself down to the rock bottom. How his chest felt heavy every single time. How he could not live peacefully and just live his life.

But what Hongseok did to him just now, gave him something he never got. A serenity.

—

Jinho was sitting by the piano. The school was over and he didn’t want to go home yet. He needed to clear his head.

He wanted to play the piano so bad. It had been long time since he played. But... the moment he touched the button, his fingers started to shake.

He clenched his fingers. He couldn’t do it. He hated himself for it.

Then a double knock was heard. A familiar face popped out from behind the door.

“Hi.” It was Hongseok. 

Jinho took back his hands and put them on his lap. Soon Hongseok was sitting next to him with a really big smile.

“You’re about to play? Can you please play me something?”

Jinho shook his head immediately, “No. I can’t.”

“I bet you can. Please. Play me something.” Hongseok insisted.

Jinho wanted to reject once again but what if... what if he tried? He had Hongseok here with him so..

He placed his fingers on the piano buttons. He took a deep breath... No. his hands started shaking, like they always did. And they shook pretty hard that Jinho felt panic building up inside him. He started to hear those noises again. This time, the noises told him he was not good enough, he could not play the piano as good as he used to.

He hated it. He hated his condition.

_ Please go away noises. Please. _

A pair of hands suddenly was on top of his own. Steady ones. Preventing his hands to shake even more and eventually stop them.

“Look at these small hands. They fit right in mine perfectly. I’ve never found ones like these ever.” Hongseok smiled to Jinho.

The noises had slipped away slowly. It was quiet in his head, peaceful.

Jinho smiled a bit too hearing Hongseok saying his hands small. They were indeed small, because the owner of them was small too.

“Is that a smile I’m seeing on your face? Wow. Jo Jinho is smiling? I just got a Jinho smiled? I’m proud of myself!” Jinho shook his head and Hongseok squeezed Jinho’s hands tighter. “It’s okay if you’re not able to play now. We’re gonna work on that.”

“We?” He really was caught off guard and knew nothing on how to react.

“We. You and me.” Hongseok poked Jinho’s forehead, “That head has a lot of thoughts.” He pointed to Jinho’s chest, “That heart has so much worries. We’re gonna work that out.”

Jinho gulped silently. He tried his best to hide his face from Hongseok to see because what was happening to him? His cheeks felt burning up.

“You just knew me a few days ago.” And that was a fact. They just met last week and if it was not for Shinwon, they would never meet at all.

“Yeah. But I know you’re a good person so I have the need to protect you.” Hongseok released Jinho’s hands and patted his shoulder. “And in order to do so. I’ll change one of my subjects this semester to musical. Dancing class to musical class. I know Kino would kill me but I don’t like dancing anyways.”

“You don’t like musical either.”

Hongseok tilted his head towards Jinho, “Really? Who says so? I like you though. So I’ll like musical too.”

Jinho could not help but to touch both of his cheeks. Yup. They got hotter.

“Just don’t bother me during class.” Said Jinho jokingly. 

“I will bother you every single time in class and I will have my seat next to you. Be prepared.”

—

A piece of paper was shoved to Jinho’s face when Jinho was taking his books from his locker. It almost made Jinho falling backwards. 

“I’m officially a musical class student!” said Hongseok whose head leaned on Jinho’s locker door.

“Yeay.” responded Jinho half-heartedly.

Well to be honest he was happy. But he just didn’t know how to show it.

“That’s it? That’s how you celebrate being in the same class with your most favorite person on the earth?”

Jinho closed his locker door and there he was, Hongseok was still standing there, waiting for him.

“You want me to throw a party?” said Jinho jokingly.

“I want you to put on a big banner hanging on the class walls, on my first day in musical class.” Hongseok then laughed seeing Jinho’s funny shocking face. “I’m kidding. Loosen up Mister. It’s still morning.” Hongseok tilted his head, “Wow. I can’t wait to start this class.”

“Have you learned anything about musical though?”

“No. But I have watched Mamma Mia.”

“First or second?”

“Both. But I love the second one better. I even bought its entire album on iTunes.”

Jinho chuckled, “You silly.”

“Wow. Did you just chuckle? First I made you smile and now you just let out a chuckle? I’m impressed of myself.”

Jinho rolled his eyes. “You’re an idiot.”

“And you love this idiot.” said Hongseok teasingly but...it hit Jinho on spot. “After a chuckle now blushing cheeks? You’re under my spell, aren’t you?”

Jinho ignored Hongseok and was about to start walking but his hand was grabbed by Hongseok.

“Where are you going?” asked Hongseok.

“Having breakfast.”

Jinho looked up and was greeted by Hongseok big smile. Hongseok pulled him to walk, heading towards the cafetaria. “Let’s have some breakfast then. I’m hungry.”

Jinho looked down at their interwined fingers. “You’re not afraid you’ll be the talk amongst the kids here if they see you hanging with me?”

“We are all the same here. Why would I be worried about what they are thinking about me? I choose the people in my life and they can’t do anything about it.” Hongseok lowered down his head to level with Jinho and the shorter guy taken back by the action. “Stop worrying about nonsense things okay? They’re not worth your time, nor your beautiful mind and heart.”

Jinho just nodded. How could he do it? How could he make Jinho feel all better in early morning? He used to hate morning because it was when his suffering began, but Hongseok had made his mornings much better.

Was it selfish of him for wanting Hongseok to be around him all the time? So he could be away from all the noise inside his head? So he could feel peace at last.

—

“I don’t understand. So we have to perform one musical song for our end of semester project?”

Jinho and Hongseok were now laying on a mini stage in music room, bodies next to each other and hands brushed against one another.

They just finished their musical class a few minutes ago and headed right away to the music room. Funny how this room had become their favorite place to hang out after class.

“Let’s just pick one musical song that suit us. Then get on to work asap.” said Jinho with eyes closed, just having a rest for a moment.

Their musical teacher gave them task to pick one musical song which they will perform by the end of semester. Well, like years before, no one would want to team up with Jinho. But today, Hongseok came to Jinho’s seat and asked his to perform as a duo.

This couldn’t make Jinho any happier.

“Do you have any idea though?” Hongseok tilted his head as he asked Jinho the question.

“I had one of the most magical experience watching The Greatest Showman at cinema. Let’s try one of the soundtracks.”

“Whatever. You can pick it out for us. Because I have not yet watched that musical.” said Hongseok.

“This is Me it is.”

“This is such a wonder.” Hongseok brought himself up then stared at Jinho.

“What?”

“You are talking more now. It was two whole of sentences.”

Jinho rolled his eyes at Hongseok, “Only when I’m with you.”

“No problem. It makes me more special.” said Hongseok.

Jinho closed his eyes again before he felt his his hand was taken. He could not help it but to open his eyes. Hongseok was playing with his fingers then interwined them with his own.

“How I wish these could be better and steadier too.” said Hongseok.

“So do I.”

“How about the noises inside your head and the crowded heart?” Hongseok had released their fingers and now was hugging his knees.

“A little bit quiter in the head. A little bit lighter in the chest. Now I can breathe a little better.” Jinho’s eyes were fixed on Hongseok.

He smiled then he broke their gaze. He got up and walked towards the piano. As he was doing so, he spoke, “I owe you something.”

Hongseok turned around and followed Jinho. “Owe me? What do you owe me? Money?”

Jinho sat in front of the piano. He then patted the empty space next to him, ordering Hongseok to join him. “Sit here.” Hongseok joined him, “I owe you this.”

Jinho flexed his fingers. He inhaled slowly, then he exhaled. He started to press the buttons of the piano. He started it slowly. He was playing a song that was representing his feelings right now. 

He was just really thankful towards Hongseok. For what he had done the day he was bullied by Shinwon. Had he now done so, they would not have met. He would not have be found and rescued.

He would not have been here.  
  


_ Most days I wake up with a pit in my chest  
_ _There are thoughts that I can't put to rest  
_ There's a worry that I can't place

 _ Most nights, I am restless and quiet won't come  
_ _ So I lay there and wait for the sun  
_ _ There's a trouble that won't show its face  
_

_ You came out of nowhere and you cut through all the noise _

_ I make sense to the madness when I listen to your voice _

_Darling, only you can ease my mind_  
_ Help me leave these lonely thoughts behind  
When they pull me under, and I can feel my sanity start to unwind_

_ Darling, only you can ease my mind _

Jinho sang the song until the very end with beautiful note. He did it. He played again. It had been so long since he played. Since the day he had panic attack for the first time. Since he had all those noises in his head. Since he was convinced that he was not good enough and decided not to play anymore.

“That was—“

“Bad?”

“—beautiful! How—how can you say that was bad?”

“I don’t know. It’s been so long since I played. I thought it would sound awkward then it would be bad to show you this then you would think like ‘wow how could a musical student be this bad at playing piano and singing’ and I have no more confidence to play again or even show my face to you.”

Well... Jinho just talked. Long setence and super fast. He could not believe his own ears. He felt nervous, but in a good way.

Hongseok raised his eyebrows, “You didn’t just play and sing the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard but you also talk so fast now huh?”

“Sorry.” Jinho played with the hem of his shirt. 

“Stop apologizing for doing nothing wrong. It’s just so cute and funny to hear you talk that fast. Are you okay?”

“Just nervous.” whispered Jinho.

Hongseok chuckled, “That is so cute. By the way. And that song. That song was really beautiful.”

“You think it was beautiful?”

“Really beautiful. You left me speechless now.”

“You don’t need to say anything. I wanted to thank you through this song. Thank you for helping me fix me.” Jinho braven himself to look Hongseok in the eye. “I’m not entirely fixed, but I’m a better person now. It’s all thanks to you.”

Hongseok reached for Jinho’s hands and they held hands tightly, “I’m the one who feels thankful that the universe brought us together. I’ve learned so much from you that I will not exchange with anything else. All the moments that we share together too, they are all priceless. I thank you.”

Hongseok squeezed Jinho’s hands and pulled him into his arms. Jinho immediately wrapped his arms around the other. This felt so nice, to be able to have someone to hug.

“From now onwards, when you need steady hands to hold on to, when you need a voice to empty all the noise inside that small head or when you need someone to lessen the crowds in your chest, I’ll always be here. I’m not going anywhere.” said Hongseok to Jinho’s ears so it was only Jinho who could hear it. “Me and me only.”

“Do I need to say those three words now?” asked Jinho teasingly.

“No need to. I already know.”


End file.
